The Lord Is My … German Shepherd? WTF?

German ShepherdThose who know me, know that I am not particularly religious, so when I feel like engaging in some creative blasphemy, I just go ahead and do it :). Here is the result of one such episode. What I did, was take Psalm 23 – “The Lord Is My Shepherd” (I think it was 23) and made slight modifications. I like German Shepherds, great dogs in my opinion, but I reckon that – sheopard – would be a much better way to spell it, gives it a certain zing. Anyways, I must have really needed a creative outlet at the time (I get that once in a while, must be an undocumented side effect of writing software), cause this is what I came up with :).

Lord Is My Sheopard

“Lord” is my sheopard; I shall not want – another sheopard
He lieth down in green pastures
and I leadeth him beside the still waters – he is afraid of running waters
He restoreth my soul – after a hard days work
He leadeth me on the path of rightness – when we go walkies
for his name’s sake – we live on Lord’s avenue, funny that
Yea, though I walk through the alley full of shadows at night
I will fear no evil: for though art with me – he is a big freaking sheopard
Thy big teeth and paws they comfort me – noone is gonna mess with a big sheopard
Thou sits at my table in the presence of mine enemies – makes them nervous
Thou put thy head into thy bowl – has a big appetite as well
Thy bowl runneth over – hmm, should probably get a bigger bowl for him
Surely goodness and mercy – that’s what my enemies will cry
shall follow me all the days of my life – try being mean to someone with a big sheopard for backup
and I will dwell in a house with “Lord” for ever – unless they try and kick us out, but they probably wouldn’t dare, you try kicking a big sheopard and see where that gets ya

Well, there you go, now it will live on forever on the interwebs. All hail the Sheopard!!!

Image by Maurice Koop